Pause

“You can’t pause life.” Andy said this in response to having to do chores while he was playing XBOX Live, but I found it very philosophical anyway. What if you could pause life? How would you take advantage of it? In the movie Clockstoppers, the characters were able to speed up their actions to such an extent that everything else seemed to move very slowly. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity was demonstrated in a great, fun, way in this movie. The characters did some goofy things while they were moving so fast that life stood still, and they fought crime.

There are still days when there is not enough time to get everything done, whether it is running errands, grading papers, or preparing presentations. In the week leading up to any big event, there are never enough hours in the day. Andy is preparing for his Bar Mitzvah, coming up in less than a month. He is practicing all the Hebrew prayers and sections of the Torah that he will have to chant. He not only has to chant (sing) these blessings, but he also needs to present a speech explaining what his Torah portion means and how it is relevant to his life. Our wonderful rabbi is guiding him (and me) through this process, and I'm confident that we are both feeling closer to Judaism as a result.

Abby had her Bat Mitzvah four years ago. As I go through this uplifting yet difficult journey with Andy, I can't help but wonder how Abby went through this entire process while I was in the hospital. As she practiced chanting her Torah portion and prepared her speech--I wasn't there. She never complained about my absence-she knew that I HAD to be in the rehabilitation center, but I knew I was missing out on something wonderful.

I couldn't pause life--Abby did an amazing job at her Bat Mitzvah. I realize as I go through this with Andy how much I missed. I can't dwell on that; I can't change something I had no control over. I need to focus on doing my best job as a mom that I can do with the resources that I have. At this time, that means putting my whole heart into Andy's Bar Mitzvah preparations. I love listening to him practice, and I enjoy attempting to help him interpret his Torah portion. I can't wait for his big day. I'm sure there will be no need to press pause, rewind or stop!