Manatees

I watched an episode of Aquakids (yes, Aquakids) on TV. At first I wasn't going to watch it because I'm no longer into Saturday morning kid's shows. I changed my mind when they said that the kids would be swimming with manatees!

My first big dive vacation was a trip to Florida to SCUBA dive and swim with these same manatees, an awesome marine mammal that is related to elephants.

A long drive from Wisconsin to Florida brought us to the Florida Keys and a couple of beautiful dives on coral reefs. Following these great experiences, our caravan proceeded to our next stop: Crystal River, the wintering grounds of the Florida Manatee.

Manatees are large marine mammals: slower than dolphins; smaller than whales; bigger than us. They are also the only marine mammals to be completely herbivorous (plant-eating). Swimming with these gentle giants was a remarkable experience. I even got to touch one as it swam by!

While in Crystal River my dive group adventured out for one night dive--in a cave. Late one night, long after the sun went down, we got in the boat and carefully, while we avoided sleeping manatees, motored out to our dive spot. It was a moonless night and the only visible light was from the flashlight lighting our way. I was shivering, although I wasn't cold. My dive instructor, Rick, suggested that he be my dive buddy. I relaxed immediately upon this suggestion. With Rick in close proximity, I knew I would be safe.

Night diving was amazing. I felt, but didn't see, the fish as they swam past me. I heard, but didn't see, the swarm of bubbles being exhaled from my fellow divers' regulators. I listened carefully for sounds of popping shrimp, croaking fish, grunting seals or chirping manatees, but I heard only the sounds of the human intruders (us). At one point, we all turned off our flashlights, which made us feel really immersed in the underwater world.

Today, I stay in touch with my marine biology side by watching shows like this, going whale watching, attending conferences, and, of course, teaching marine biology!

Bar Mitzvah

Today is February 13, 2011. For many months, I had been looking forward to February 12, 2011, the date of my son Andy's Bar Mitzvah. Now that it's over, I can look back on it with relief and pride. First of all, Andy did a magnificent job, chanting prayers and leading the service like a pro. He surely earned the cup of wine he was offered after reciting the kiddush (real wine--NOT grape juice)! Abby did a great job with her parts as well. She wasn't feeling well, but carried on as if nothing was wrong.

When it was my turn to climb up to the bima (platform), I didn't stumble. I offered a blessing to Andy during the ceremony. Since I wasn't able to do this during Abby's Bat Mitzvah four years ago, it was especially important to me to offer a blessing that was meaningful to both of them. As I was reciting the words, I truly felt God's presence. It was as if I was having a private moment with my children. The 100 spectators were forgotten.

Andy presented his prepared speeches flawlessly. He interpreted and found meaning in his Torah portion. He talked a lot about the Eternal Flame, but he was also able to incorporate his work at the zoo, the TV show Survivor, and the Disney movie Wall-E!

Following the service, we had a party, complete with a DJ, great food, and, of course, lots of wine. Everything went off without a hitch. The food arrived on time, and it was delicious! (I highly recommend Luigis in Pacifica.)

Andy with his Aunt Karen and Uncle Howard during the candle ceremony.

One of my favorite parts of the party was the candle-lighting ceremony. Andy lit a candle in honor of people who are important in his life. Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends were included. A different song was played as each candle was lit.

Planning and executing this event meant so much to me--more so because of our situation, and the fact that I wasn't able to be as involved in planning Abby's Bat Mitzvah as I would have liked. But what I said in my last post is true, and I think it bears repeating because it applies to everyone: we all have to do the best we can do with the resources we have.

Pause

“You can’t pause life.” Andy said this in response to having to do chores while he was playing XBOX Live, but I found it very philosophical anyway. What if you could pause life? How would you take advantage of it? In the movie Clockstoppers, the characters were able to speed up their actions to such an extent that everything else seemed to move very slowly. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity was demonstrated in a great, fun, way in this movie. The characters did some goofy things while they were moving so fast that life stood still, and they fought crime.

There are still days when there is not enough time to get everything done, whether it is running errands, grading papers, or preparing presentations. In the week leading up to any big event, there are never enough hours in the day. Andy is preparing for his Bar Mitzvah, coming up in less than a month. He is practicing all the Hebrew prayers and sections of the Torah that he will have to chant. He not only has to chant (sing) these blessings, but he also needs to present a speech explaining what his Torah portion means and how it is relevant to his life. Our wonderful rabbi is guiding him (and me) through this process, and I'm confident that we are both feeling closer to Judaism as a result.

Abby had her Bat Mitzvah four years ago. As I go through this uplifting yet difficult journey with Andy, I can't help but wonder how Abby went through this entire process while I was in the hospital. As she practiced chanting her Torah portion and prepared her speech--I wasn't there. She never complained about my absence-she knew that I HAD to be in the rehabilitation center, but I knew I was missing out on something wonderful.

I couldn't pause life--Abby did an amazing job at her Bat Mitzvah. I realize as I go through this with Andy how much I missed. I can't dwell on that; I can't change something I had no control over. I need to focus on doing my best job as a mom that I can do with the resources that I have. At this time, that means putting my whole heart into Andy's Bar Mitzvah preparations. I love listening to him practice, and I enjoy attempting to help him interpret his Torah portion. I can't wait for his big day. I'm sure there will be no need to press pause, rewind or stop!

Top Ten of 2010

Top Ten of 2010

Top ten what, you ask? Everybody does a top ten list to end the year, so I thought I’d reflect as well. Realizations, movies, tv shows, etc--this is a hodge-podge of Top Tens.

10. Last year at this time, I didn’t have a valid driver’s license. My license was reinstated in January 2010.

9. I posted 39 blogs in 2010; the most-viewed one was Black Belt!

8. One of my favorite movies of the year was Little Fockers.

7. My New Year’s Resolution has NOTHING to do with my weight!

6. I still think that a good dose of chocolate (especially Abby’s OREO balls) can heal most ailments. (Good thing my New Year’s Resolution has nothing to do with weight!)

5. My least favorite movie of the year was Kick Ass. It could have been fun--kids as superheroes. But it was wayyyy too violent to be enjoyable.

4. We went whale watching this year--for the first time since my surgery! It was fun: we saw lots of whales and I only fell once. Read more here…Whale Watching Blog

3. I developed three new courses last year--two online, and one honors biology section addressing the function of the human brain.

2. I began research into the effectiveness of Mirror Therapy, in a project called Mirror, Mirror. This goes along with Wii-hab!

1. If people who are not related to me annoyed me last year--I wrote about it! Altruism, Nastiness, and Car Dealer are examples.

Blogosphere 2

I haven’t posted a new blog entry in a while because I’ve been participating in online interviews. This is one of my favorites. It ran without the pictures, so I’m including them here.

On When Life Throws You Lemons...Make Cranberry Juice!

Q: Can you tell us why you wrote your book?

At some point during my nine-month hospital stay, I decided to write a book about my experience.

In the hospital, with nothing but my mind for company, I thought about how I would write a book. The rehabilitation center I was at specialized in brain injuries, and it was suggested to me that I write stories about the twelve patients staying there with me. My speech and physical writing skills were coming along very slowly at the time, so I wasn't up for conducting interviews.

I came home at the end of March 2007. I wasn't walking, driving, or working. Going to outpatient therapy kept me busy during the day. My kids kept me busy at night.

Writing the book started with long emails that I wrote to friends in the middle of the night. I had always been able to express my feelings better through writing than through talking--and express them I did!

By January 2009, I had read the entire Harry Potter series twice and I was ready to go back to work. I started going to an Adaptive Physical Education class at my college, helping in labs, and giving guest lectures. The busier I got, the more I did! I realized my experiences may be valuable enough to share. Those emails I wrote to friends in the middle of the night were a start. I divided my thoughts into "chapters" and got started. Once I had enough, I looked for a publisher. Publish America called me to tell me they accepted my story for publication at the beginning of 2009. Once I had a publisher (and a deadline), I set daily writing goals for myself. I went through my medical records (a two-foot high stack) and legal records for dates and names of medical procedures. I also interviewed friends to get parts of my story that I wasn't "there" for.

I finished the book in June of 2009, and it was published in October 2009.

Q: Which part of the book was the hardest to write?

The hardest parts to write were the parts of my story that happened without me there. You might have expected me to say that re-hashing the emotional parts was the hardest, but that was truly therapeutic for me. Getting my friends and family to share their emotions was tougher. They always seemed so happy when they visited me in the hospital--it didn’t occur to me that they were acting!

Q: Does your book have an underlying message that readers should know about?

Absolutely! Work hard, and don’t accept failure as an ending.

On Writing

Q: Do you remember when the writing bug hit?

I had toyed with the idea of writing a novel a few years earlier: a murder mystery set at my alma mater, the University of Wisconsin. It was going to incorporate a lot of scientific evidence, presented in a way that was fun, and even a bit chilling.

Q: What’s the most frustrating thing about becoming a published author and what’s the most rewarding?

The frustrating part is that I don’t promote it enough. The most rewarding part is yet to come!

Q: Do you have a writing tip you’d like to share?

Nobody likes to look at a blank screen. If you don’t know where to star--start in the middle! Start with a free-flow of ideas, and work it into sentences later.

On Family and Home:

Q:  Would you like to tell us about your home life?  Where you live?  Family?  Pets?

I live near San Francisco with my two kids and my two dogs. The photo at left shows what happens at my house when we’re painting the bathroom! We were never very conventional: I once brought my kids and one of their friends to a beach to harvest whale bones (with permission). After climbing down the mountain to the beach, I realized it was a nude beach. Lesson #: never turn your back on the…ocean!

Q: Where’s your favorite place to write at home? 

I have a computer downstairs at the dining room table and another in my bedroom. I love writing on my Ipod touch though. I can write my blog entries anywhere.

Q: What do you do to get away from it all?

I go to karate class 2-3 nights per week. In fact, I just got my blackbelt! Again--not conventional!

On Childhood:

Q: Were you the kind of child who always had a book in her/his hand?

I’ve wanted to be a marine biologist since I was seven years old. What every nice Jewish girl from Milwaukee strives for! I did not grow up wanting to be a writer, but I certainly enjoy writing now.

Q: Can you remember your favorite book?

I never really had a favorite book. Now, I read self-help/family issue books, or trashy novels!

On Book Promotion:

Q: What was the first thing you did as far as promoting your book?

I made a Facebook page, started writing a weekly blog, and held a book-signing. Ok, that’s three “first things.”

Q: Are you familiar with the social networks and do you actively participate?

I have nearly 1400 Facebook fans, so, yes, I actively participate. I also have a Twitter, which is updated automatically from Facebook.

Q: How do you think book promotion has changed over the years?

I’ve been told that books are “dead.” Everyone wants digital ebooks. I think people still want to see things in print...autographed books are still hot, although book promotion has changed to be mostly digital.

On Other Fun Stuff:

Q: If you had one wish, what would that be?

Only one? Isn’t it customary to have three wishes? My biggest dream for my book is to be on Ellen. Another is to meet Steve Young again. My kids don’t get it, because he’s “old” (sorry, Steve), but he’ll always be my favorite celebrity!

Q: If you could be anywhere in the world other than where you are right now, where would that place be?

Alaska, watching whales.

Q: Your book has just been awarded a Pulitzer.  Who would you thank?

Really? Cool! Thank you Lily Gordon, a Pacifica High School student who edited the book for me. Thank you Abby and Andy for being wonderful children who made it possible for me to get my life back enough to write this book. Thank you, Mom. Your encouragement to follow my dreams (including chasing whales and Steve Young) is embedded in my heart.

Prologue

Happy Chanukah!

For this week’s blog, I’m sharing the prologue from my book, When Life Throws You Lemons...Make Cranberry Juice!

Prologue

“That’s a big tumor, Shari,” echoed through my head as I packed for my short stay in the hospital.  The doctors told me that, even though it was large, the removal of this benign brain tumor (an acoustic neuroma) was something they did all the time, and that I had an excellent prognosis.  They said I should spend five to ten days in the hospital, recover at home for another three to four weeks, and I should not have major lasting effects.  I ended up spending nine months in the hospital and my body and face will never look or feel like it did before the surgery.

I went into this experience with the hope of a happy, healthy future, and I truly believed that I was embarking on an adventure. I knew it wouldn’t be fun, but everyone I talked to reiterated what I had heard from the doctors. This was a benign, operable brain tumor, I was in excellent hands, and I was going to be fine. I am not fine. I am and will forever be a work in progress.

Whenever someone is going through a tough time, people grasp for the “right” words. Some tell you to put your faith in God; others tell you to see the glass as half-full.

 “Think positive!”

“It could be worse!”

“What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.”

“God won’t give you anything you can’t handle.”

And of course: “When life throws you lemons, make lemonade”.

Sure, I could put a positive spin on this.  The left side of my face doesn’t move—I’ll never need botox. Plus, since my face doesn’t show expression, I’m a really good liar. I would be great at poker!

If playing poker for a living fit into my goals at all, then there’s my lemonade. Since it doesn’t, I’m stuck with trying to make lemonade out of lemons. How do I make lemonade from lemons? If I squeezed lemons into a glass, I’d have lemon juice. Who wants to drink straight lemon juice? At the very least, I need to add sugar. So, I need to take life’s lemons and add life’s sugar to it.

My favorite drink is cranberry juice mixed with lemonade. When life throws you lemons, make cranberry juice! Take life’s lemons, and add some sugar and cranberries. But where can you find life’s cranberries? While my lemons had always been large, sour, and smacking me in the face, my cranberries had always been small and elusive. I really had to pay attention to find my cranberries, and I had to be willing to recognize them. My cranberries ranged from a rub on my shoulder to a friend installing my dishwasher.

Clichés give words to the wordless; these words try to minimize pain and suffering. No matter how big or small, everyone is entitled to be upset when bad things happen in their life. Putting a positive spin on life’s disasters doesn’t always work. This book is not about making lemonade out of lemons, but looking for and finding sugar and sweet cranberries to add to the lemons. Finding, and accepting, life’s cranberries makes the journey much more palatable.

If you'd like to purchase an autographed copy, please visit my web site at http://www.wix.com/lemonsandcranberries/lemons

ACS Conference

I attended the American Cetacean Society's (ACS) 12th international Conference last weekend in Monterey. This was the first time I attended this conference as just a PARTICIPANT. In 1998, I was involved with a small group of people in Pacifica who wanted to turn an abandoned wastewater treatment plant into a marine life museum/aquarium. While I still think the project was a great idea, for various reasons it never got off the ground. This project did, however get my juices flowing in the direction of active marine conservation, and it gave me the confidence to move forward with my next project. A whale and dolphin conservation organization, of which I was a member, had no chapter near San Francisco. I changed that by founding the San Francisco Bay Chapter of the American Cetacean Society.

The focus of this chapter was education and research. We presented whale education programs at schools and libraries, and we gave out student research grants. I served as the president of this chapter until my brain surgery in 2006. Every other year, our chapter held an auction to raise money for student research grants. The National ACS Conference is also held every on alternate years, so on our chapter's non-auction years, I helped organize and run the silent auction at the national conference. I have gone to every conference since the beginning of the SF chapter, except, of course, 2006: the year of my surgery.

During the 2008 conference, my kids helped plan and carry out a raffle. This year, I decided to attend just for fun. 

Some of the talks were on the ecology of whales, and some were about conservation of whales. While scientific data was presented, one scientist compared fin whales to corvettes and humpback whales to minivans. The sleeker, faster fin whales got to be the cool car!

The last presentation of the conference was a showing of a clip from The Cove, followed by a discussion with the film's director. This film, which is really about gathering evidence if the horrific killing of dolphins in a small cove in Japan, has energized conservationists worldwide. Hearing the story first-hand from the director was a fantastic way to end the conference.

Black Belt!

Can you walk and chew gum at the same time? I can! But for me, that's an accomplishment!

Last week, I achieved a goal that I had once taken for granted, but then became a huge ordeal to complete. I received my Black Belt in karate. Two other adults (Mat and Pat) got their Black Belts at the same time as me and it was interesting that the three of us demonstrated very different levels of martial arts. Mat was awarded one of the very few "real" kajukenbo Black Belts in the history of our dojo. As a "real" Black Belt, he demonstrated a level of intensity and ferocity that is rarely seen.

One of my best friends, Pat, joined the dojo a few months before my surgery, partly because it was a fun activity to do together. She and I both got Black Belts in self-defense as opposed to kajukenbo. Neither if us have the ability or the ferocity to strive for a kajukenbo Black Belt. If receiving a Black Belt is analogous to graduating from college, Mat had a different major!

The difference in skill between Pat and me was, of course, remarkable as well. Pat performed each task with precision and power. I concentrated on NOT falling down!

A panel if VIP kajukenbo Black Belts was invited to watch our demo. Their expectations of our performances rightly varied depending on our goals. Mat not only had to beat up on three guys during the test, but he also had to reverse roles and let THEM beat up on HIM before the panel gave him a kajukenbo Black Belt. What I loved most about Pat's performance was that as she wacked this guy around, including slashing his throat, she never stopped smiling! I can picture her on the street. Someone tries to take her purse and she gives the guy a broken nose and a couple of broken ribs. She says she's sorry, takes her purse back, smiles, and moves on! The panel was split when critiquing her smile, but one of the top-ranking VIP's there told her that her smile was her spirit, and she should never lose it. I agree!

When the panel critiqued me, it was clear that their expectations were pretty low. They pretty much agreed that I should get my Belt for having the strength and courage to overcome my disabilities and go for it. I expected more of myself.

At one point, our teacher went into the back room to deliberate with a few members of the panel. Another panel participant took this opportunity to make the Black Belt candidates do exercises--sit-ups, push-ups, jumping jacks, etc. We had practiced everything, including having Abby help me into a kneeling position when the time came, but no one remembered this exercise ritual, favored by one of the dojo's longtime Black Belts. When Seifu Scott said, "On your backs," and everyone immediately fell to the floor, I, quite ungracefully, bent over, put one hand, then the other, to the ground, followed by one knee, then the other. I then sat down, and finally lay on my back. When it was time to get up, I reached out to Mat and he helped me to my feet. During the jumping jacks and running in place, I did calf raises. Abby told me later that she was staring at my feet the entire time, willing me not to fall. I didn't. A couple members of the panel offered me a chair during these exercises. I could have been exempt, if I chose to be. This dichotomy between what others expect of me and what I expect of my self has been very noticeable these past four years.

Special thanks to David Durkin, a great partner!

To see the entire event, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IUm8N6Qc7M&feature=related

Back to Bed

I was having one of those days when I just wanted to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep. So I did.



Next blog--I get my Blackbelt!

Pacifica Book Signing

I'm having a book signing event tomorrow (Saturday, 10/16) at Florey's Bookstore in Pacifica. Jean Bartlett, of the Pacifica Tribune wrote a fantastic article about me, my book, and this event. I wish I could hire her to do all my PR!

The article begins like this:

Why didn't the brain want to take a bath? It didn't want to be brainwashed. What kind of fish performs brain surgery? A neurosturgeon.

While long-time Pacifican Shari Bookstaff knows from personal experience that "brain surgery" is no laughing matter, she also knows that humor can be found even after a life altering brain tumor.

She writes on her YouTube PowerPoint presentation "The 10 best things about having a brain tumor include I get to say, 'It's not like it's brain surgery,' and mean it!" The Bookstaff PowerPoint (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5yijl0mwCw) is highlighted by the chipper vocals of Alvin and the Chipmunks singing "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter.

Bookstaff's journey down this unplanned road began quietly enough. It was in April of 2006 when the marine biologist and Skyline College biology professor (since 1990) and single mother of Abby and Andy, began feeling dizzy and nauseous.

"I continued to go to work every day, but my nausea kept getting worse, to the point that I was throwing up daily," Bookstaff said, adding that the closest analogy is morning sickness or seasickness.

In April of 2006, Bookstaff was told "it" was just vertigo. Keeping to her schedule but feeling worse each day, Bookstaff was given the same diagnosis in May and in June. Reluctantly on July 1, 2006, the professor went to an Ears Nose and Throat Specialist (ENT). Among other things, she learned she had some hearing loss on her left side.

"I hadn't noticed," Bookstaff said. "I mean, I preferred to use my right ear on the phone, but who doesn't have a preferred 'phone ear'?"

Read the entire article here...